Dirty Pick Up Lines

Dirty Pick Up Lines

  1. You work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package.
  2. Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!
  3. There are 8 planets in the universe, but only 7 after I destroy Uranus
  4. I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!
  5. I named my dick “the truth” cause bitches can’t handle it!
  6. I must be hunting treasure because I’m digging your chest
  7. Do you believe in karma? Because I know some good karma-sutra positions.
  8. You know why I am like a squirrel? Cause I want to bury my nuts in you.
  9. I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you!
  10. I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.
  11. Smile, if you want to have sex with me.
  12. I like every bone in your body, especially mine.
  13. You know what I like in a girl? [What?] My dick.
  14. I`m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.
  15. If I were a cat i’d spend all 9 lives with you.
  16. Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.
  17. Do you want to have good sex? [No!] Well then come to my place!
  18. Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
  19. Call me Chris Brown, cause I’d hit that! [Look at her ass]
  20. You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
  21. You have eyes like spanners. When I look in to them, my nuts tighten.
  22. Your so hot I could roast my meat on you, baby.
  23. You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
  24. You’re like Pringles once I pop you, I can’t stop you.
  25. You’re on my list of things to do tonight.
  26. You Say: I’m jealous of your dress. She says “Why?” You say: Because it’s touching your body, and I’m not.
  27. You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
  28. You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
  29. You’d mind if I fantasize about you?
  30. You look familiar, have we had sex before?
  31. You look familiar, have we had sex before?
  32. You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat.
  33. You make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers.
  34. You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
  35. You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?.
  36. You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
  37. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
  38. You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages? Well, I don’t even own a car.
  39. You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
  40. You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
  41. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under
  42. You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.
  43. Wow! Are those real?
  44. Write the following on a napkin and give it to a cute girl: “Smile if you want to have sex with me.” Watch her smile!
  45. Yeah, it’s big and if you pet it, it spits
  46. What is long and hard, and right behind you?
  47. What time do you get off? Can I watch?
  48. What’ll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
  49. What’s the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
  50. Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
  51. Will you marry me for just one night?
  52. What do I have to do to be your booty call?
  53. Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
  54. Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.
  55. Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, “do you want to taste my drink?”
  56. Wasn’t I supposed to eat you somewhere?
  57. We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.
  58. We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
  59. What are you doing tonight beside me?
  60. Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
  61. Wanna play Army? I lay down and you blow the hell outta me.
  62. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
  63. Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
  64. The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
  65. The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
  66. The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
  67. There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
  68. Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.
  69. Wanna fuck like bunnies?
  70. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
  71. That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
  72. That’s a nice shirt, can I take you out of it?
  73. That’s a nice smile. It’d look better if it was all you were wearing!
  74. Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
  75. Sit on my face and let me get to ‘nose’ you better?